I can feel myself slipping and it scares me.
I’m becoming increasingly more paranoid, disconnected with reality, and some nights it’s harder to breathe.
I really really really don’t want to go back to that place I was in last year, it was the worst part of my life and if I got that low again, I don’t think I’d survive myself.
I feel like I’ve lost the only two friends I had and I think this could be triggering me a little as I don’t handle abandonment and rejection well.
The problem is I feel nothing.
My psychologist says its partly because of the medication and I should make an effort to stay friends with them. But I’m always the one who makes the effort. I always ask when they’re free and try to organise something and since I haven’t seemed to care about anything for the past month and half I’ve stopped doing that. The fact that they have barely tried to even message me makes me feel like they don’t want to be my friend anymore; that they’re angry with me and talk about me behind my back.
I feel alone again, and I don’t know what to do.